I will never buy anything at Gamestop again.  Today I went to my local gamestop at the westside pavillion, as I often do on a Saturday afternoon perusing the games before I hit a matinee at the Landmark.  As I am someone who works in the industry, you might ask me “wtf? doesn’t Gamestop make billions off of your backs in used game sales that you don’t see a penny of?”  The answer to that is yes, I know. But you forget that I’m very shallow and I had a new Uncharted 2 t-shirt that I wanted to wear in public in hopes that someone would spot it, be impressed by me, and strike up a conversation about what I do.

Anyway, on this particular Saturday, I was keen on actually buying a game.  I was feeling a racing game like Burnout, but I wanted the ultimate edition with all the extra motorcycles and crap until I realized that was a download only package on PSN. Shit. I finally settled on The Chronicles of Riddick : Assault on Dark Athena, because it includes an updated last-gen Riddick game that is supposed to be awesome, and the new one has 80 on metacritic so I figured it was a good value.  But it didn’t matter what the game was as long as it was on PS3, so when the guy would ring it up, he would suggest I preorder some other PS3 games like inFAMOUS, and I could make a sly remark and subtly make reference to my Uncharted 2 shirt.  And if that didn’t work, I would pull my credit card out of my wallet in such a way that shows off my Naughty Dog ID, again in an attempt to make this guy’s day by saying “yes, a DEVELOPER shops at your store! Isn’t that awesome!” …wow my life is sad. 

So as I go to the counter I am already upset that the store is busy (well, it’s a good sign that the industry is thriving at least) because that means the cashiers have less time to make chit chat with the customers.  They had a demo of Batman: Arkham Asylum in store and it looked cool so in an attempt to prolong my time at the register,  I inquired about its release date.  June 23rd.  I finally got to asking for Riddick on PS3 and the guy went shuffling through some drawers looking for one before finally saying “I think it’s on display” as he left from behind the counter.  My mind instantly flipped from slightly disappointed developer to slightly pissed off customer.  I’ve heard the stories about Gamestop selling used copies of games as new, and lending out their “display” copies to employees to manhandle at home before resealing them with the sticker offloading them to some chump for $60 with a whack ass price sticker irreversibly glued to the unwrapped box. Fuck that. Not today. Not me.

I politely but assertively asked the gentleman, “you know what, how about you just give me the 360 version instead as long as it’s, you know, WRAPPED.” He shamefully says “ok” and grabs a 360 copy off the shelf behind the register and throws in a bag for me.  I was proud for two reasons: one, that I’m showing off my multiple-console ownership by so flippantly switching platforms, and two because I called him out on some bullshit, and he seemed to show visible remorse for his actions, and perhaps for Gamestop’s policy as a whole.  I’d like to think he seriously questioned his employment at such an evil empire at that very moment. I left with my riddick feeling accomplished, and I was off to my matinee.

Then I got home and took the game out of the bag.

Fucking. Kidding me. 

Unwrapped and manually re-stickered showing dirt and shit under the sticker.  

The spine is all fucked up, like a cat was chewing on it or something.  

Of course, paid in full. 

Now I have to drive back tomorrow to return this game for a refund, and NOT an exchange, because I am done with gamestop. Forever.  And if they give me any of this “only unopened games can be returned” bullshit, I will laugh at the irony, then something WILL burn.

 And no one noticed my shirt. Fuckers.